Adam's Giveaway Winner

First of all, thanks to everyone who entered Adam's Giveaway. We laughed our pants off at your entries. Seriously, our pants are gone. Second of all, those of you who failed to enter it, consider yourself shunned. You know who you are.

You people are funny! I never knew you had it in you! Even Sherrie who thought she wasn't funny and missed the deadline but entered anyway. You, Sherrie, should get an award just because you cared! Alas, we only have one $10 restaurant gift certificate/double date night to give so, without further ado, the Oscar goes to....oh, wait. Wrong award :)

The winner is......Barbara!

If you don't read Barbara's blog, you should start because she's authentically hilarious. Thanks in large part to me, but I'm just sayin' is all.

Here's her caption: "Hi Macey's? Yeah, do you guys do deliveries?"

Now that might not seem that funny to the untrained ear but you have to know that when we were engaged and I lived with her, Adam used to make the 10 hour round trip trek from Rexburg to Provo nearly every weekend. When he would arrive of a Friday, he'd be so exhausted that we mostly spent the weekend sitting on the couch with Barb watching Beatles movies and eating.

One particular Friday it happened to be Chocolate Day and we had almost let it pass unnoticed (which is a faux-pax of which there is no whicher). Adam was exhausted, Barb had snagged a great parking place, and my car was part out in East Jebus Nowhere so none of us wanted to venture out to find some chocolate with which to celebrate.

I kid you not when I say that Adam picked up the phone, called Macey's, and asked the poor, unsuspecting worker if they delivered. The answer? "Um, yes.....what did you need?" Adam: "One Symphony bar."

Long story long, we didn't get a delivery. But that is why Obama saying that into the phone on his first day would be hysterical. So congrats, Barb! You can either email me what dates you want us to pencil you in for or, what restaurant you want your certificate to, if you want to be a loser.

Thanks again for humoring us.

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It's 24 inches of misery

Please still enter Adam's Giveaway. You have until Sunday at midnight to write something funny. So do it. Or else.

This was me yesterday:
Easy-going, happy, blonde, funny, full of life, grateful, Blonde, blessed, service-oriented, smart, BLONDE, charitable, good works, integrity, B-L-O-N-D-E. I had the wind beneath my wings and I was just thankful it was a Friday. Oh, and I was blonde.

This is me today:I don't think I need to point this out, but I'm miserable, angry, brunette, cranky, selfish, needy, Brunette, sick, crying, grumpy, BRUNETTE, hateful, disappointed, mean, B-R-U-N-E-T-T-E.

So here's the deal. There are three personages living in this house: Adam, myself, and my hair. It has become a participant in every conversation and a guest at every meal. For 9 years, I had short hair and I LOVED it. Then I left for college, got poor, and started growing it out. This is the story that brings us to the present, wherein I have 24 inches of hair from root to tip. That's 2 feet of hair. And I hate it. It wouldn't be so bad if it were just long but it's long, thick, AND coarse. It's like living under a haystack.

Why don't you cut it, you ask? Because it was such a commitment that I feel like all the time, money, and resources it took to get me to this point will have been wasted if I just hack it off. Why don't you donate it to Locks of Love, you question further? Because I heard a nasty rumor that they don't take hair that's been colored so that would be a waste also. You're not a natural blonde, you gasp? Oh shut up.

The point is, this morning I had my *cough, cough* eight week hair appointment wherein I get the evidence washed clean from my roots. I went in on a "recommendation" because my first gal up and moved (for which I will never forgive you, Ericka) and my second chicka had the audacity to have a baby at the first of the month.

A highlight retouch is just not that hard. So I told the lady what I wanted and settled in for a long winters nap. After an hour and a half, I stood up, happily waved good-bye, and headed home to blow dry my mop (I NEVER put anyone through the painful experience of styling this mess. See what a good client I am?).

15 minutes into the drying process, I began to notice that something just wasn't right. Sure, wet hair always looks darker, but by 15 minutes I should have been seeing some blonde showing through. Nothin'. Just a brown Brillo pad. Of course, I started panicking and ran to get Adam in on the misery. Some help he is. His advice? "Maybe it's time to rid you of the beast."

So I did the only thing left that I could do. I threw myself down on the bed and sobbed like a little girl without her passie whist Adam snapped pictures and laughed. A little melodramatic in retrospect but at least it made me feel better. On the bright side, now when I don't know what the 3 branches of government are, instead of thinking I'm stoopid, people will just think I'm too busy solving world hunger to pay attention to petty politics.

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Adam's Giveaway

So, Emily does this all the time and, while I'm not about to make it a habit, I do think that this particular giveaway will be fun. Here's the deal: Emily and I were perusing CNN.com, as we do on a nightly basis (much to her disgust), and we came upon this picture.Emily asked "What do you think he's saying?" and that turned into us coming up with a number of weird ideas. Examples:

Emily: "Hey....did they give you a red phone or a blue phone in your office? Me TOO!"

Adam: "Michelle...can you hear me now? K, I'll call you from the bathroom next."

Emily: "President Sarkozy, it's Obama...President Obama? Remember...of the United States?"

Adam: "George....sorry, last time...which drawer are the pens in?"

Emily: "And then he said.....and then I said...and then SHE said"

Adam: "Hope has come to the White House phone. (Sits up straight) Hope has come to the White House desk. (Stands in the center of Oval Office) Hope has come to the White House carpet."

You get the idea. So, what we want you to do is come up with your own 1st-day-on-the-job-Obama-phone-call. Comment before Sunday at midnight and we'll pick the best one on Monday. You could win a $10 gift certificate to a restaurant of your choice or a double-date with us. I think I know what you'll choose, but the certificate is just an option. Alright...you've got the rules. Now, remember, as our President reminded us: We're all in this together!

Jan. 22- Hey Peeps, it's Emily. I really want to see some action on this one. Feel free to offer more than one caption. Or have your spouse, family, and friends comment. The more times you comment, the more we laugh, the more chances you have of being out on a sweet double date with us (or eating at your favorite restaurant, if you want to be a loser), the more fulfilled your life will be, the more service to others you do, the more you get exalted in the last day. See? It's a win-win. Now go to!

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I'm living

I gotta be brief because Adam is standing over me threatening my life if I don't get off his computer. My Mac refuses to link to the Internet. It's been a butthead since last week. Anyway, I'll state the obvious: it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been crazy busy graphically designing everything from flyers to websites. So sue me.

I just wanted to make a quick statement about today's events. If you didn't catch Obama's speech, do yourselves a favor and head to CNN.com. I think republicans, democrats, and Dieter F. Uchtdorfists alike can agree that today was a "Dear Diary, Page 1" day. I may or may not have shed a few tears myself. Fitting that he was inaugurated the day after MLK day.

But here's what I really want to say: watch this video because I said so. Peace out.

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The Second One

Don't worry. I'm not going to post every single one of the 30 photo shoots on here but I am posting the second one because I learned a very valuable lesson. You CAN NOT take pictures at 4:00 in the afternoon on an already foggy day when the sun goes down at 5:15 and think that you will be successful. These shots are the ONLY good ones out of 200. Which is sad because these are decent at best.

Anyway, this is my sister-in-law, Ali and her girlfriends. They were so giggly that all I had to do was say the word "joke" and they would laugh pee-your-pants style. Hopefully I'll get a chance to redeem myself sometime in the near future.

Oh, and please don't leave comments about how I'm being too hard on myself and all that blah. When you have to Photoshop the heck out of a picture just to make your eyes stop watering, you know you should have stayed at home watching SuperNanny reruns.

***Click on them to make them bigger and I promise you, they get at least marginally better. I mean, as good as crap shots can be.

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One down....

29 more to go! Today's photo shoot went GREAT. My sister-in-law, Ali, and her peeps decided to postpone their shoot so she came along with me. She's got natural talent oozing out her ears so betwixt the 2 of us, we really made it happen. Bless you, Ali. Once I get done with these comp shoots, we've basically decided to make this into a business. Not because we're the bomb-diggity (though I'm not saying we're NOT), but because we had so much fun and I think Amy and Omar did to. And thanks to Chris and Tippy for the tender mercy of providing me with much needed advice. Anyway, here's the evidence. Feel free to offer critiques.

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Jeepers Creepers

I'm kinda panicking because I'm doing the first 2 of my 30 comp photo shoots on Saturday. All of a sudden, I'm feeling completely inadequate. Sure, I took some photography classes and can tip-toe my way around a camera, but a) I just got that new Canon Rebel XTI for Christmas and really don't know how to use it and 2) I've not done a ton of portraits. One of the shoots is for my sista-in-law and some of her crazy gal friends so that's no biggie but the other is for one of my co-workers. She's having me do her engagements. Don't worry, I read her the disclaimer and all that jazz and she still decided to go through with it. Glutton for punishment? Either that or desperate.

The point is, I need some help!!!! Any words of advice (besides "stop panicking")? Any "must take" shots? Any "super good tips"? Anybody know how to force the flash off on this "stupid thing"? Want me to stop "putting everything in quotes"?

Please help me.

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Can I say boob?

Is that OK to say on a public blog? Oh well. I already showed a picture of my very you-know-who forsaken tonsils and that's for sure not OK. The truth is, I'm a boob. I just watched this video and balled like a little baby girl with out her passie. Yes folks, that's a preview for a reality TV show and I am not ashamed. In fact, I'm changed and ready to start a new year with a new me. That said, the resolutions are as follows:

1-Drop those 15 pounds that have taken up residence on my a*$ by Adam's spring break (purposefully not saying when that is).

2- Stop making Adam do the laundry so much.

3- Put 1,000 bones a month into savings.

4- Stop moaning and just take the &*#$@ GRE.

5- Go to the temple twice a month.

6- Do 30 free photo shoots by the end of spring (if you're in the area, need some pics, and are willing to take your life into your own hands, let me know. now, if you want 'em photoshopped, that'll cost ya. come on, peeps. i actually do that for a LIVING. what do you expect? don't worry, it'll be minimal.....).

7- Actually do my hair instead of just moaning about how much I hate it and threatening to chop it off every other second.

8- Remember other peeps birthdays.

I think 8 goals is good, don't you? 9 just seemed like too much of a commitment and 7 made me feel like a boob.

Sorry about the link above. Apparently NBC decided to change things around and not tell me so if you clicked on it and were confused, it's because you were SUPPOSED to see the Making the Change preview from the Biggest Loser. Dang NBC. Dang 'em the for ruining my blog post.

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Dearest Santa,

We all remember last year when you surprised the pants off me with my favorite red shoes. How could we forget the teenage squealing and jumping that accompanied that very thoughtful gift? But this year, you truly out did yourself. I'll admit. I had an idea that this little beauty would be under the tree come Christmas morn. And I am thrilled, I tell you. Just thrilled. But I must say, what is it with you and having surprises up your sleeves? Every year there's something that makes me revert back to my youthful days of yester-year and exert high-pitch screams. Black & white plus flourishes equals me Me ME! I've loved this set FOREVER. I just wish you could have seen me eating CPK off them the other night. I mean, that pizza is boss but something about these plates made it taste even better. I actually felt cuter and I'm pretty sure that the calorie count went way down.

Thank you for the camera case. Just what I needed for all those photo shoots my husband thinks I'll be doing. loved, Loved, LOVED the red, black, and green floral headband. Again, so me. Thanks for the argyle-style tights. Even though they were a size Q. Weird that Wal-mart had your same brand but at least I was able to take them back.

Thanks again for comin' to town. I'm chalking this one up as another great Christmas!

Much love, e

P.S. Still looking for that stylus pad but I'm really no better at hand illustration than I was last year so we'll let this one slide.

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Absence

My very old grandmother passed away on Wednesday and I've had no want to write. From what I understand, she had a sudden heart attack and at her age, there was no heroic measures to be taken. I know all that "she's in a better place" and "it was for the best" bull but death is never easy. I'm grateful that she is with my grandfather now because she was so very, very lonely. And I'm so grateful that on her recent visit to my parent's house, I sat and listened to her talk without thinking about all the other things I could be doing. I'm also grateful for the eternal knowledge I have.

But I am sorry for those left behind in her absence. Like my father. As the baby of his family, he was the closest to her, I think. And I'm sorry for his sadness. He told me that I wouldn't understand how it felt until I lost my own mother. And he's right. All I can do is be there.

Anyway, hopefully that explains my lack of posting. Preoccupation. But I shall return with updates on Christmas, New Years, and other mind-numbing deviations from reality. Much love.

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