Twelve sorta easy steps to making a maxi skirt

I made a maxi skirt!

I can tell by the way you're about to scroll right on down the page that you didn't hear me.

Me! Myself! I! This girl! MADE, with my own two hands, a MAXI skirt! Butch up, Sally, because I'm going to show you how to make your own.

You'll need about a yard and a half of extra wide (58"/60"), jersey fabric, a yard of elastic, a safety pin, scissors, a measuring tape, and, of course, a sewing machine and thread. My local sewing store has a rank of cast-offs, so I got this striped piece for about $3.00.

Step one: Cut your fabric the length and width you want. This is a lot easier said than done so you might want to pour yourself a cold one. Hint: whatever length you decide you want, add three inches total for the hem and the waistband.

Step two: If you have a serger, serge all four edges. Also, if you have a serger, you most likely don't need this tutorial. If you don't have a serger, do a zigzag stitch around the end to prevent the jersey from rolling or fraying. Step three: Create the back (or side) seam of the skirt by folding your fabric in half width ways, right sides together. Sew this together, about half an inch from the end of the fabric. This will create a tube-like number with each end open. Step four: Now we're gonna create the waist. Fold down the top of the "tube" an inch and a half, press with a hot iron, and pin. At this point, you'll also realize that jersey fabric is straight from the devil's workshop and you may consider giving up. Don't! You'll make it! Stay strong! Do some punches in the air! Grit your teeth! Hawk a loogie!
Step five: Using a straight stitch, sew this about a centimeter from the edge. BUT stop sewing about three inches from where you started, leaving an opening to get your elastic in there.
Step six: Wear your pink sweatpants from fifth grade and measure/cut your elastic. Another hint: Pull the elastic tight a little bit. Otherwise, your skirt will HANG on your hips. And that ain't cool. Step seven: Attach the safety pin to one end of the elastic and thread it through the opening. Use the safety pin to push it all the way through the casing.
Step eight: When you get the elastic back to the opening, pin both ends together so you can go bang your head against the wall for taking on this endeavor.
Step nine: Take a deep breath, come on back, unpin the ends, and then sew them together with about a million zigzag stitches.
Step ten: You don't have to do this step, but I HIGHLY recommend it. If you skip this step, the elastic will roll around in the casing and drive you to drink (but since you're already drinking due to your stupid-arse idea to make a maxi skirt, no biggie). Just use a straight stitch and pull the elastic and fabric tight as you sew right down the middle.
Step eleven: Now, hem that sunovawench. Using the same turn, press, pin, and sew technique from above....turn, press, pin, and sew the other end of the skirt to whatever length you want.Step twelve: Wear it with some free sunglasses you got from the Kappa Sigma guys to cover up your lack of make-up. Cute? Hush, yes! Easy? Hush, no. I'm only messing witch you. If you have ANY sewing skillz and just a dab of patience, this will be a cinch.

I like it so much, I just might make another one. Stockholm syndrome.